Hey what's up. It's not actually a busy week but unconsciously I made myself mentally busy. Get the stress on, no more slacking. NOOOOO. yes, no more procrastination.
Life's been changing. Study life in particular. When I was in primary school, mom used to accompany my sisters and I to study every night. We finished school around 12.50pm, got home by 3pm cos mom was a teacher and we gotta wait for her to complete her job. During that two hours, the three sisters sat in the school office and were ordered to complete our homework. At night, 7pm to 9pm was our compulsory study time. Mom would always be there. 9pm, lights off, bedtime. Yea, we were still kids, we needed prodding, always.
Secondary school. I failed my first Sejarah(History) test and there was another, more sinister, I didn't know how to solve Kemahiran Hidup accounting problems which my classmates found them super duper easy. During my years in secondary school, mom probably thought that I've grown up and she started not asking about my study progress or anything. I think that's because of the birth of my brother. She was too busy to care about my study. However, I still got scolded if I didn't study for exams or got damn-lan/lousy results in exams.
You will probably see me available always on Facebook. Guess what, I could hardly get on to Facebook, or even the computer when I was in secondary school. I could only get onto it when mom was away to pick up my sisters to or from tuition classes; when she was doing laundry, cooking etc etc. This was exactly what mom told us: That's useless for you guys. When I was at your age, I didn't even have TV to watch. For now, your job is to study, get good results and for a better life in future. Then you can enjoy your life by going on FB 24/7/
To be honest, I don't know why I was so keen to get on FB when I was Form Four, friends and classmates seldom online too. FB addiction? I don't think so.
Anyway, talking about my study life last year. My first year in Brisbane. High school was not that intense during the first term, but when it came to the second term, GOSH, i felt like i was dying. Assignments, homework and report, oh yea and oral presentation with N powerpoint slideshows. However, no matter how busy I was, I still had leisure time to get on PPS to watch HK dramas, and always up-to-date one! I'm obviously a HK TVB big big fans, I admit it. :p
Geeez, I passed Year 11 with 3As and 3Bs. The final report without straight As was kinda miserable, perhaps that is how Malaysians are educated for, to get straight As in those big exams. Fortunately, I am able to get enrolled in UQ Foundation Year with that results and got the conditional offer from the course I want.
I thought I will be seriously stressed out for the year. But teehee, I wasn't for the past 4 months. Till the day, which was last Friday, I randomly clicked on 'My Profile' on MyFy website and saw my own profile. The bachelor degree gave me a box on my ears. The several alphabets were like mocking me, laughing at me like telling me that for sure I can't get into the course. I know why, because I've been slacking since school starts.
And finally I decided to be determined. Frankly I was trying to escape from the reality that I need to pay 200% or even more hardwork to achieve my dream. I am such a timid. I am scared of failure and intended to escape from it. I skipped IELTS class unconsciously; I avoided myself from the conversation which involved ISAT/UMAT examinations. I was wriggling out of what I should have done. I think I was kind of... looking on the offer letter as dispensable.
I can still choose for another course right if I can't get into it.
But, I obscurely don't want to. My parents and E said, go for it, take the challenge.
Yes, that's it. God's in control, everything is all right.
I'm too blessed to be stressed, I'm stressed because I see the future.
Cheers.
